What are you afraid of?
Losing my parents.
What's the challenge?
To face the fact that they will not be around forever and write them the kind of letter that most people write when it's already too late.
How was the experience?
Ever since I was a little girl, I was too afraid to lose my parents and be left out alone in this planet. I would stay awake for hours, waiting for them to come back at night, until they were back home safe again whenever they had a dinner party or an event. And even today, living in different parts of the world, I check on them every night before going to sleep. I was always too afraid to be the independent person many expected me to be. After some time in therapy, I discovered that in my subconscious mind, being dependent meant keeping those who take care of me alive forever. This project made me realize, without a doubt, that I can be an independent woman living in NYC without any issue, which scares the heck out of me just to acknowledge that! I feel I'm letting go of the fearful dependent girl that arrived to this scary city a year ago, and that's pretty hard to accept. But, if there's one fear I needed to face before the end of the project it had to be this one, the biggest fear of them all.
Writing a letter to my parents imagining what life would be like without them, was a complete reality check. It made me aware of the amazing life they gave me and the importance of their lessons. It gave me peace and discomfort at the same time. It made me appreciate them even more. Most importantly, it gave me the opportunity to let them know how I feel and what I want from them while they're still around. And it gave me the courage to share this experience with all of you, so you can do the same.
I decided to face this fear today, about to celebrate Rosh Hashanah (Jewish new year's), because we must make the most out of this gift G-d gives us, a new year full of blessings ahead. So, we must choose life with every decision we make and spend every day in the best way possible. Shana Tova to all my friends and family.
