What are you afraid of?
I'm terribly afraid of aging and losing my physical beauty.
What's the challenge?
To collaborate with a make-up artist to make me look like my 80-something year-old self.
How was the experience?
For this challenge I was lucky enough to collaborate with Glamour magazine and their awesome crew. So I went to the Condé Nast studio where they brought an amazing make-up artist who took 3 hours to put 67 years of make up on my face. I wasn't able to see myself during the entire process. When Jaime was done, I didn't know what to expect, so they brought me up to the mirror where they did the reveal. My immediate reaction was a mix between tears and laughs. First I thought: This is not me, I'm not going to look like this, I'll age more beautiful than this for sure, I don't feel like myself at all. Then, I started to think: But what if I do? What if in 60 or so years I look like this? Will I stop loving myself? Will I be miserable because I don't look the way I would like to? Will Adam still love me even though I'm not attractive? What if when I'm this old I don't recognize myself in the mirror? Then I thought of everything that goes beyond the physical aspect and thought about my health at that age, my mental stage, my experiences, my story, the people that will no longer be in this planet, my grandchildren, and finally I thought of Adam and hoped that at that age he still shares his life and his heart with me. By that point, I couldn't stop crying. I've always been very young at heart and had a "childish" aspect to my personality that I don't want to let go. Physically, I've always looked younger than my age and I'd like to keep it that way!
When we were done at the studio, we all ran to my apartment to wait for Adam to come back from work and surprise him. We installed a couple of GoPro's and waited for him to arrive. As soon as he walked through the door I turned around and he was in complete state of shock. Then, he saw all the cameras and the crew and was really surprised not knowing how to act. He had a hard time getting used to my look, but kept saying that he would still love me when I look this old.
When the cameras were off and the crew was gone, Adam was still in shock and he told me that he realized how much he loved me by looking at me at that age and still feel that he made the right choice and that the feeling of love was the same as it has always been. So it worked, having his acceptance made me accept myself and gave me the confidence to let my outer beauty go trusting that I'm much more on the inside. For now, I'll keep taking lots of pictures and videos so I never forget how I look and I can share that with my grandchildren one day.
Then, the second fear arrived: time to take all the make up off my face...!!!