Day 26: Fly

What's the challenge?

To fly in a helicopter.

What are you afraid of?

Things not going according to plan. 

How was the experience?

I'm normally not afraid of flying, I can go on airplanes without any discomfort, but helicopters just seemed dangerous. Luckily I got the from seat so my views were amazing. At first, I was a bit nervous, the thing was tiny and we were about 6 people in there. Once we were in the air, I started feeling more and more comfortable till' the point I was even enjoying the ride and the views. Amazing views. Birds are lucky.
What a great experience, I would do it again, next time, at night!

Day 25: Fry

What's the challenge?

To fry food.

What are you afraid of?

Getting burned.

How was the experience?

Terrifying! The oil was all over! This was my first time in years frying something; last time I did it I burned myself, so I simply avoid it. Today, even though it was still scary because of the jumpy hot oil, nothing bad happened (thank g-d). At least, the empanadas were delicious and Adam was happy on his birthday! This is not something I'll be doing often, but once in a while I could face this fear and eat delicious fried food.

Day 24: Just do it

What's the challenge?

To do one fear a day while I'm in finals week at school.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of being so overwhelmed that I won't be able to deliver.

How was the experience?

Yes, this week has been hell, no sugar coating it or anything, pure hell. I had one presentation on Monday, one Tuesday, one Wednesday and one Thursday. Plus, my full-time job! So I'm sorry guys, my fears are like one day behind now. Monday I dyed my hair, Tuesday I spent the whole day wearing headphones, Wednesday I went to the fortune teller, today, I have no time to face a fear, so I'll face my fear of not posting anything today. Here you go!

See you tomorrow :)

Day 23: Read this

What's the challenge?

Go to a fortune teller.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of the unknown.

How was the experience?

Fortune tellers were a big no-no for me. Why hear someone else tell you things that might mess up with your head? It's like creating your own scary movie, and you  already know I don't like those. Since I've always been afraid of this, I decided to face it and then evaluate what to believe and what to disregard. I went to this place on 61st and 1st Ave and talked to Samantha who immediately started telling me things about myself I believe to be true. Since they were all pretty positive things, I wanted to hear more (who doesn't?). Naturally, she asked me not to record the experience so you might as well trust me on this. Overall, she said some stuff I already kinda knew about myself, but it is always good to be reminded of the positive things since we're constantly criticizing ourselves. She said pretty accurate things and then some I don't fully relate to. She recommended me to practice yoga and meditation to face my fears with inner peace and good intensions. I really enjoyed this experience and wouldn't mind doing it again in the future. There is nothing to be scared of, I learned that it is good to know where you are standing and have some hints on what's waiting for you #allgood.

Day 22: Tune out

What's the challenge?

To wear headphones all day long.

What are you afraid of?

When I'm not fully aware, or one of my 5 senses is missing I feel I'm not in control of the situation. So once again, I'm afraid of letting go of control.

How was the experience?

I borrowed my husband's Bose headphones for the day and wore them every time I could, on the subway, on the street, at the office, etc. At first, I felt kinda dumb wearing these huge things and not being able to listen to people talking on the subway or car noises on the street. Then, I realized most of the people were wearing headphones too! So I wasn't missing out on much, since everybody else is tuned into their own world. That's when I started to enjoy the music and found a bigger purpose to walk around NY to spend more time on the journey than trying to get to my destination. Letting go of control is not easy for me, but it is something I have to keep practicing, so send me some cool music I can listen to tomorrow on my way to work!

Day 21: Go blonde

What's the challenge?

To change my hair color.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of 1) hurting my hair, and 2) hating the color or looking ridiculous. I'm generally afraid of change.

How was the experience?

I usually don't dye my hair, and if I do, I ask the colorist to make it so subtle that people can't even tell I went to the salon. This time, I found a picture I loved and booked my appointment through salonapprentice.com, a website where hairstylists look for models to practice their skills and build their portfolio for a very low price. I was more nervous than ever because I knew the colorist wasn't going to be the expert I normally would choose. I went to Marie Robinson Salon and met with Crayton. The place seemed pretty upscale, located in 5th ave and 22nd st. Crayton was the best, he really understood what I wanted and did exactly what I asked him. I was afraid of changing my color so drastically and going blonde but he made it work! I love my new hair... next time, pink! Stay tuned #babysteps !

Day 20: Play

What's the challenge?

To interact with various dog sizes at a dog park.

What are you afraid of?

I've been always terrified of big dogs, mostly the playful ones. When I am around a dog I feel I have no control whatsoever over the situation, that makes me anxious and a bit irrational at times.

How was the experience?

This is by far one of the biggest challenges I've been exposed to. This fear started when I was very little, might have been the consequence of a baby camel chasing after me on my trip to Israel at age 6, who knows. The fact is that this fear has been keeping me from visiting friend's houses and being able to step out of the car at my family's reunion. I've embarrassed myself jumping on people's dining tables and so on. it hasn't been easy. So when I moved to NY, I noticed that everybody had a dog and I couldn't keep living my life afraid of such common animal. So I've been trying to acknowledge the fact that dogs are good animals and that they won't hurt me, for quit some time now. I was a bit anxious but even excited to go to the dog park. Once there, I played with every kind of dog no matter the size or look. I was impressed to see that they were all super nice to me and that they just wanted someone to play with. I don't think you overcome such fear in so little time, but I do believe this helped me understand that dogs don't want to hurt me, they just want to have fun.

Day 19: By the horns

What's the challenge?

To ride a mechanical bull.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of anything that seems a bit dangerous or sketchy.

How was the experience?

Normally I would've never done something like this. Riding a mechanical bull seemed somewhat dangerous and hard to. Since I started this project I'm willing to do many more things and I even have a positive attitude about it. I was scared but super excited at the same time, I'm liking this new Michelle. It wasn't as hard as I thought and I made an effort to ride with one hand like you're supposed to. I really recommend this to anyone! :D

Day 18: Ride

What's the challenge?

To ride a bike around NYC.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of being in danger.

How was the experience?

Note to self #1: do not plan on getting a Citi bike at 5:30pm. Since everybody was leaving their job around that time, there were no bikes left on the racks. I had to walk to 3 locations in order to find the one. When I was finally able to get the bike, I started to ride using only one hand and trying to record myself with the other one, bad idea. Note to self #2: find the right gadget to mount the camera on the bike. At first, I was extremely nervous to go in between cars and pedestrians, mostly passing through Times Square. Note to self #3: avoid Times Square at all times. After a while, I started to feel more and more confident about my riding skills and even enjoyed the ride. I made it! And I might even try it again when the summer arrives.

Day 17: Ommmm

Time to change things up a bit.

I realized that facing fear is not the only way to confront it. Since this project is about getting over fears to become a courageous person I will also include some activities that will help me get over scary situations in a more positive and mindful way. 

Today, I tried meditation for the first time. Sadly, the instructor did not allow me to record the session but it lasted 30 minutes and it was strangely relaxing. He asked us to create a safe place in our minds and color it with our favorite shade (which I used pink, but not the tacky shade, the really delicate, classy one). Then, he asked us to put there one project or goal we had in mind, so of course I put this 100 Day project in there, and finally unlock the stress that the project brings with a secret code. Sounds pretty weird but somehow I feel less heavy and optimistic about this project. I like to overcomplicate myself and always go above and beyond expectations; what this is causing me is stress and lots of tension. So this thing I'm doing right here, just writing my post and be ok with it, is a reflection of what I learned today meditating. It is ok to sometimes simplify things to make our lives better and that's what I'm doing now and I like it.

See you tomorrow.

-M.

Day 16: Pull it off

What's the challenge?

To get out of my confort zone when it comes to clothing and buy some patterns as opposed to plain color garments. 

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of looking ridiculous and not being able to pull it off.

How was the experience?

After waxing the day before I needed a milder fear. As you know, I try to live a very controlled lifestyle where everything is in harmony; so when it comes to clothing I want to look good but try not to risk too much. So, I went shopping outside of my confort zone.
I kinda trained my eyes over the years to avoid anything with patterns at the stores so it was hard to focus on those pieces of clothing now and overlook all the plain color things I normally grab. I tried a couple of pants, skirts and dresses at H&M but nothing really worked for me. Then, I went to Zara where many things with patterns were looking good! It's not easy going outside of your confort zone, but at the end of the day it is so worth it and I will start to do it more often, even when it comes to everyday little things, like shopping.

Day 15: Pull it

What's the challenge?

To get a Brazilian wax.

What are you afraid of?

Pain.

How was the experience?

I went to Bliss Spa on Lex and 49th and got Olga to do my wax. She was the funniest lady I've met and she was super excited about me recording the whole thing and doing my project about fear. She told me it wasn't going to hurt, but it did! Looks like she's been reading my blog because she told me that my pain was coming from my fear, not from the wax. So between this and the piercing, they both hurt the same and took around the same amount of time. It was horrible but Olga made it a funny experience and I might even go back, plus I got organic lollipops! I want to be able to relax next time so the pain is the only thing that bothers me, not the fear of pain.

Day 14: Speed up

What's the challenge?

To drive home by myself at night.

What are you afraid of and why?

I'm generally afraid of accidents and driving has a big risk mostly late at night when people are not at their best. The truth is that I not only don't trust other drivers, I don't trust myself behind the wheel.

How was the experience?

When I was living in Miami (less than a year ago), I would avoid any type of event that included me driving at night by myself mostly. I missed dinner parties, birthdays, networking events and so on. This time, I wanted to face my fear and prove myself that I can get to my destination safe and sound so I drove from Midtown to Hollywood and actually enjoyed the ride. I must admit I was super tense the whole time and my hands hurt at the end from holding the wheel so tight for 30 minutes. But, it was worth it and I kinda feel proud of myself for doing it. Back to subway rides now!

Day 13: Trust

What's the challenge?

To visit my almost 3 year-old niece after 4.5 months of being apart and trust that she will remember me and love me in the same way.

What are you afraid of and why?

I'm terrified of losing her love, care and attention. She is my favorite person on earth and the one reason my heart breaks whenever I leave Miami.

How was the experience?

I'm always nervous to see her again after a long period of time and she not paying attention to me. Usually, she runs to my arms and screams my name, this time it was a bit different. Her mom already told me that she's been behaving like the typical threenager, so her favorite word is "no" and "that's mine." So I get to the pool area where she was and expected her to run into my arms and get me completely wet with pool water. Instead, she kept playing on the pool and splashing everywhere; no hugs or screaming out my name. After a couple of minutes I had to move on, so I took my broken heart to the beach area to see the rest of the family. Once she was done playing in the pool, she came to the beach and as soon as she saw me she showed her love by running into my arms and finally screaming "Michelle!!!." The best moment of my trip to Miami. After that, we immediately became inseparable for the next 24 hours. I'm no longer going to worry about Shira forgetting about me every time I leave her for a couple of months. I have to trust that our love is big enough and that the feeling will always be there.

Day 12: Pet

What's the challenge?

To feed animals at a petting zoo.

What are you afraid of and why?

I'm afraid of animals biting my fingers while getting the food from my hand.

How was the experience?

Ever since I was a little girl I hated going to the zoo, mostly because I was terrified of the petting area where animals approached me looking for food. So, I went by myself to the children's petting area at the Central Park Zoo. I'm proud to say that I fed two sheep and one goat. Thankfully, the animals were patient and didn't bite my hand even though I dropped their food a couple of times. The most embarrassing part, besides being the only adult feeding the animals, was being the only one freaking out about it. All the other kids were so good at it, while I was a complete mess. I'm happy to know that animals will only lick the food out of your hand but they won't bite you. Someday, when I become a mom I will encourage my kids to feed the animals and I will show them how to do it without being an embarrassment to them. See you then, animals!