The Startup Sessions

November 18, 2016

Why Fear?

A couple of reasons I wrote just to remind myself why am I doing this:

Fear keeps me from enjoying life
Fear will keep me from achieving success
I want to live courageously
Life starts at the end of your comfort zone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
NYC is not made for the fearful
Fear just doesn't make sense
If I don't do it now, then, when?

Instagram: @100dayswithoutfear

Yesterday, as I was browsing Instagram, I saw a photo of a beautiful bathroom (swipe ➡️). I stopped 🛑 scrolling immediately! And took a few seconds to take in what I was looking at: the patterned tiles, the dreamy bathtub, the black and white furniture, the 🌱and the cool lamp.
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My first thought was: “I will never have such beautiful bathroom 🥺”
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“Wait, what?!” I interrupted myself and thought: “If you tell yourself you will never have it, most likely, you never will!”
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I immediately changed my speech and told myself: “I will have that bathroom, sooner or later” — and I took a screenshot of it so I could keep it. Now, I will work towards what I want instead of victimizing myself 🔥
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That thought was reassuring AF, and it made me feel in control of my life. So, next time YOU catch yourself saying things like: I will never have, I will never do, or I will never be, flip that thought around and make it a goal of yours 👊🏼 Capiche? ☺️ #hellofears #motivation #yesIcan

One day you love to ski... the next day not so much. And suddenly, something that used to be in our comfort zone no longer is 😟. Have you noticed that the older we get the more afraid we become? 👵🏼⁣
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I don’t #ski often, and sadly, the less I do it, the more it scares me. Which applies to everything in life: confrontation, vulnerability, learning a new skill, speaking in public, traveling, networking, etc. Which is exactly WHY we have to challenge ourselves DAILY: say YES to new experiences + opportunities. That’s the best way to EXPAND our comfort zones to new frontiers 🤯!⁣
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So, even though it scares me, I will continue to ski every chance that I get! 👊🏼⛷ As a reminder that living life to the fullest is a choice, and a habit ✨ #hellofears

Last week we had one of the BEST weeks of our life. I’m not going to lie 🙊— We had two amazing events that I was invited to speak, one in Utah and one in Vancouver. TWO ski destinations. So we took a few #daysoff (in both locations) and pampered ourselves like never before 🧖🏼‍♀️⛷🛁🥂. We thought: We deserve this. We’ve worked so hard! and we’re finally doing well. So, why not take a break?
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You would think it was easy. That “happiness” is the ultimate goal and that getting there would bring mental peace. Well, turns out happiness is a tricky emotion 😬, one very few people allow themselves to experience ⤵️
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There is such thing as “happiness anxiety”. When everything is going so well we tend to think that bad things will follow. Or we simply ruin our moment by feeling “guilty” for what we have.
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The best way to fight that is by being grateful. Give yourself permission to feel happy ☺️ No #guilt ☺️ No #anxiety of what may come next ☺️ No questions asked ☺️ You deserve to be happy. Heck, you worked for it 👊🏼! Embrace your moment and say out loud: I am happy today, and nothing can come in my way 🤩
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Last week we had the courage to be happy 💛 #courageis #hellofears #happiness #vacation #springbreak
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Go to @phillycouplestherapist to read more about this fascinating topic #happinessanxiety — thanks @doctorsuevarma for sharing this valuable information!!!!

3 tips to be 👏🏼 your 👏🏼 confident 👏🏼 self 👏🏼 #unapologetically ⤵️
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1️⃣ Contrast instead of compare: Next time you find yourself measuring up to someone else, STOP. Instead of thinking of ALL the things you are not good enough, think what the other person is missing that you DO have. Highlight THAT about yourself. It may be your accent, your background, your story, your tone or some of your tangible, or intangible skills. Double down on YOURSELF.
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2️⃣ Be self deprecating: laugh at yourself so no one else can! Show your imperfections in a way that says: YES, I’m HUMAN, so what? Forget about *perfection* — Instagram needs more *realness*
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3️⃣ Ask yourself: If I wouldn’t care about what others think, what would I share, who would I be, what would I say? Say just THAT, be THAT! and see what happens. Most likely other people will say (or think): “EXACTLY what I needed to hear, good to know I’m not the only one.” We are less special than we think, and our experience and lessons can help SO MANY, if only we would be willing to open up, and share.
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Finally, we are our own worst critics. Turns out, NO ONE’s judging us in the same way that WE judge ourselves.
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Thanks to @nikkimiles_ for this beautiful art! ♥️💥 #beyou #beyourself #courage #selflove #sundaymotivation #authenticity #contrast #hellofears

Who else is uncomfortable speaking in public? 🙋🏼‍♀️⁣
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Our biggest fear is to tell a joke and have no one laugh at it 🙄, or say something and be frowned upon 🤔, or have a disengaged audience 😴. Right? I’ve been there, and I’ve learned so much from that. Mainly that WE ARE WRONG.⁣
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We can’t really know what’s on our audience’s mind, we can only guess. And the way we do it is by “reading” the signs: serious face, judgy look, arms crossed. And as much as that could mean “I’m not interested in your content” it could also mean something else ⤵️⁣
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In my experience, the people that may seem more disengaged could be the one that is paying attention the MOST. And their face only reflects their feelings towards THEM. As I’m talking about bravery, they may be reflecting about the times they weren’t brave enough, authentic enough or curious enough.⁣
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Most of the times, the people that approach me at the end of the presentation to THANK ME, are the ones with the “disengaged” look. So, don’t be intimidated by them, or take it personally!⁣
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I hope this helps next time you’re presenting in front of an audience 😅 Let me know if you want more #publicspeakingtips 👇🏼⁣
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This photo was provided by @linkedin — the LEAST disengaged audience I’ve had this year 💙 #gtosymposium

When @therapyuntangled posted this image, I immediately thought of SO many ways to talk about it. But I’m going to leave you with an exercise than can help you or a loved one 🔥♥️
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This is something I mentioned on the latest episode of our podcast (“Desdel Avion”) and A LOT of people thanked me for sharing:
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Years ago, before becoming entrepreneurs, Adam was thinking of the possibility to apply to another company. He was struggling to define his strengths and why someone else would hire him. This is what I did ⤵️:
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I wrote a letter to a “future employer” selling Adam. As his wife, I highlighted ALL of his skills and strengths, in the most objective way possible. To the point that Adam couldn’t argue ANY of the things I mentioned in the letter. They were all true, and 100% him.
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Adam burst into tears when I gave him this letter, and felt 10,000 times more confident because he was able to see his capabilities like never before. And then, I “hired” him 🤭. He is too good of a catch to let him go and work for someone else 😂 #luckywife ♥️
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If there is anybody in your life that needs one of these letters, you know what to do 👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼 (or if YOU need one, forward this post to whoever believes in you). The truth is that we can do SO MUCH MORE than what we give ourselves credit for, and sometimes we need a little reminder of that! 🥳 #hellofears #selflove #courage #selfesteem
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Go to @therapyuntangled post and read what SHE has to say about it!!

Just leaving this here 😅 #itsok

25 days of #SomethingGood challenge starts TONIGHT! 🎉 For the next 25 days, we are ALL going to share ONE good thing about our days — as a way to celebrate LIFE and @lifeisgoodco 25th Anniversary 💛💛💛 This challenge will fuel our days with positivity, optimism, and good vibes only! 😚✨
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✔️How it works:

Every day I will share a template on my Story for you to repost and fill out with WORDS and GIFS highlighting only ONE good thing about your day — and I will share mine as well!
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💥 If you want to take it one step further: challenge your friends to follow along and be part of this initiative. Because for every #SomethingGood shared, Life Is Good will DONATE $1 to the Life Is Good Kid’s Foundation 🙏🏼♥️
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📝 Sidenote: #The100DayProject also starts today on Instagram. You don’t have to stop posting your #somethinggood after 25 days if you also want to join the 100-day challenge 💪🏼! Make sure to FOLLOW both hashtags to get all the great content that will be posted 👊🏼💛

A few months back, I asked you guys to volunteer your time, and your 🧠, to help me make my book better. The idea was not to receive praise, but to look for feedback.
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I asked 3 questions:
💛 What’s your main takeaway?
💛 What was confusing or unclear?
💛 How can this be 10% better?
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This book is my baby. It literally took 9 months from conception to delivery🤰🏼. So, at first, I was hesitant to follow my manager’s advice and do this. It is NOT EASY to receive feedback and not take it personally. But, I want what’s best for the baby, err.. book. So...
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After reading over 100 of your comments on the different chapters, I cannot be more grateful for having done this. I took into account ALL of your feedback; which took this book to the next level 🙌🏼😱⤵️
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This is my way of telling you: it’s ok if what you create is not PERFECT. There is always room for improvement. So be open to show it to more people. Ask others to help you make your stuff 10%, or even 50% better. It takes courage, but it is SO worth it at the end 👊🏼 (Thanks @joshshipp for this advice)
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To those who volunteered: I will be FOREVER grateful ♥️ Your advice and your praise gives me the confidence that this book it going to impact MANY ☺️✨ #courageis #hellofearsbook #feedback

I used to beat myself up every time I would say something wrong while I was presenting. I thought that EVERYBODY in the audience noticed that I screwed up. But the truth is that by the end of the presentation the ONLY thing they remember is how I made them feel. And that’s the most important thing 💛 This quote by #MayaAngelou (beautifully illustrated by @ninacosford ✨) now helps me every time I’m on stage 🎤 — and I mess up.
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So, if you have a presentation coming up, and you are nervous about it because... you’re HUMAN. Remember this quote and focus more on your ATTITUDE and less on your script. A smile, a vulnerable story and a few laughs can go a long way 👊🏼💥 #hellofears #publicspeaking #courage #fear #quote #motivation #illustration

This is SO true. With one emoji, comment below what is your biggest fear right now.
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Mine: 👶🏼
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So much, that I’m about to start a new Instagram account called @momfears 😂 (and no, we are not even trying as of now, but all the fears are there).
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So, what’s YOUR fear?

When I was in college I bought a book by Paul Arden that said ⬆️ on the cover. I immediately felt like I could relate SO strongly to that statement! 🤯 I needed to buy the book (which I recommend 100% to anybody). Why? ⬇️
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I knew at the moment that I was just a college student, but deep down I was WAY more than that🔥. It was NOT about who I was at that moment, it was about who I knew I wanted to become. I had BIG goals for myself and I had the confidence that I was going to make those goals a reality, sooner or later 😅
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People who limit their dreams and the size of their goals, limit their life and their potential. It all starts with the belief that you can make something happen, that you CAN make a difference. And it WILL happen 💥
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At first, @stramhacks thought that I was just *very* naive for believing I could have an impact and stand out in this over-saturated world. Now, he not only believes it’s possible, he is aware that this is just the beginning. AND he even started dreaming too 👊🏼😀
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A couple of days ago, I said on my video that POSITIVITY was the antidote to fear. Today I want to add AMBITION to that equation. When you have ambition, NOTHING can stop you.
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So, are you LIMITING or FUELING your dreams? ⤵️
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#hellofears #paularden #ambition #dreambig #hustle #courage #fears #selfconfidence #phaidon

The other day I was asked what my definition of “giving” was. After thinking long and hard about it — and going past the typical clichés — I said: “To give is to trust your worth.”
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Many people have a hard time giving their opinion, offering help or sharing their knowledge. NOT because they are selfish, but because they don’t fully trust themselves. They don’t trust their own worth. So, they rather keep their ideas to themselves 💔 If you are this person keep reading ⤵️😳
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The world needs YOUR value. Is it less than perfect? Better yet. Is it about something cliché or already saturated? Give it your own twist through storytelling. Did it help you? Then it will help others.
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The truth is that you may not know it all, but the fact is that you DO know more than other people. Probably not more than everybody. But if 5 people could benefit from your ideas/knowledge/advice, would you do it? Heck yes. And if 5 can, 500 can as well.
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The only way to know it is by putting your thoughts out there. It’s a matter of believing in your worth and having the best intentions at heart.
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“Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.” Steven Pressfield — His book motivated me to start my 100 day project. I have an extra copy. If you want it, share this post on your story (tag me) and invite your audience to read it! #courageis #confidence #selfworth #inspiration #hellofears